dentistry, death, spectacles, weird dating agency

I’m afraid that for some unknown reasons, my dreams have become less vivid these days. I could not recall a large part of my multi-scenic dreams each night, and only managed to remember a few striking details and a couple of full storylines. For example, I believe that I had around 4 to 5 dreams yesterday, but I could only remember two of them, and some unconnected, fragmented details from the remaining scenes. No lucid dreams altogether, and no remarkable dreamsigns either. I need to re-learn how to do MILD and improve my dream recall.
I could not remember the beginning of my dream, but I could recall that somewhere in the middle of the third dream or so, around 5 a.m. if I’m not mistaken, I found myself in a dental clinic, getting ready for my tooth extraction. I’ve had tooth extraction dreams twice before, one of them involving me getting treatment at a government dental clinic, another one more grotesque – with me pulling out 4 of my teeth with my bare hands. Anyway, in this dream, I remembered that the dentist was a pleasant lady, probably 35 years old, a bit on the plump side. Her face, however, kept shifting – at one moment she appeared as a typical Malay lady, at another, as an ‘anak mami’ (probably with the name Mydin/Maideen). When she inspected my aching tooth, she could not tell exactly which one is affected, so she tapped my teeth one by one. I realized that this scene was akin to a real-life situation when I visited the dentist (an anak mami as well) at Shah Alam three months ago. As soon as she managed to pinpoint the source of my agony, she took her plier and proceeded with the gory action of pulling my bad teeth. I shrieked because there’s no damned anaesthetics around, which caused her to stop abruptly. I insisted for nitrous oxide, so she gave me a gas mask or something, and instructed me to take deep breaths. Last thing I remembered, I was feeling rather euphoric, probably from the laughing gas.

The dream faded to give way to a new scene, this time I found myself in an open ground with my whole family. I recognised the place as the barren field at the back of my old house. My youngest bro was playing with my other bro when he suddenly dropped dead. I could not remember what killed him, but I was sure it was something swift as he didn’t bleed or show any sign of pain. It was hard to believe that he was dead. To make things freakier, my parents and other bro began arranging for his funeral, with my parents digging his grave and other bro looking for wood planks and kain kafan. When everything was finished, I helped them carry my bro into his grave, but I realized that he wasn’t enshrouded with the kain kafan. He appeared as if he was sleeping. I told them to stop and tried to convince them that he was still alive, but they ignored me. I remembered telling them “even though I rarely speak to him, he was still my brother!” while crying hysterically. Then the dream ended. Whoa, two ‘death of a family member’ dreams in a row. What would that mean?

eta:

Good news: I managed to get my afternoon nap. Bad news: no lucid dream. Good news: my dream is vivid and freaky enough for me to recall. Bad news: no dreamsigns. I slept at 3 p.m., which is kinda too late to be considered as an afternoon nap, listening to the IQ Increase isochronic tones on my mp3 player. Heh, don't ask me why, I need to rejuvenate my disintegrating brain. Fell asleep in the middle, and immediately found myself sitting in a big hall (which did not resemble any of the halls that I've ever seen in my waking life). There were a bunch of girls in tutus and fancy costumes getting ready to perform a play or something at one side of the hall. I glanced down at what I was wearing at the moment - it was a very lovely burgundy lolita dress, which did not belong to me. I think there was some sort of glitch in my dream, causing that very scene to repeat twice (but with the girls wearing different clothes). The rest of that scene was a bit blurry, but I remembered following the girls down a narrow tunnel, through a small door like the one in Coraline. Then I found myself standing outside the hall. It was drizzling, and the sky was dark. I saw my parents at one corner, and when I approached them, they asked me to get aboard a freaky-looking bus run by a local dating agency. Possibly a subtle order for me to get married quick? No way, mom would never do that to me in real life hahaha! I was a bit reluctant at first to get aboard the bus, because I felt that it was too peculiar (with two tables set up in the middle of the bus for two couples, eating ais kacang and cendol). I seriously didn't know where would the bus bring me to.

During the whole destinationless journey, I was served with mushy public shows of affection by the other passengers (it was after all run by a dating agency). I felt completely out of place, but somehow a single guy noticed me and offered me his half-eaten Secret Recipe cake. I was like mehhhh no way, you looked like my ex. I glanced outside the window, and enjoyed the night scenery. The surroundings were a bit alien to me, but I believe that they resembled the route to Persada Convention Centre and City Square. True enough, after several minutes, the bus arrived in front of City Square. But instead of stopping at the bus stop, the freaky bus (which somehow took the form of a 60's hippie minibus at this point... guess that I am getting hippier nowadays) just sort of rammed into an unfortunate shop selling freaky shoes. Miraculously, the shop did not suffer any damage. I went around, hoping to explore this altered version of City Square, and possibly find this one shop where I intended to go in my waking life to buy a couple of new shoes, but within seconds everything went pitch black. Someone told me that the shops were going to close early (it was 8 p.m.) for CNY break. I remembered going to the 3rd floor as fast as I could, the shops behind me becoming dark one by one, before I realized that I had nowhere to go. I scanned the surroundings in a vain attempt to look for any possible way out, and saw a small shop selling keys and spectacles. The specs were brightly coloured (red, green, yellow, orange) and costed RM5.99 each. My shopaholic self leaped ecstatically and proceeded to buy 3 of them, only to realize that I did not have much time to do the eye test, so I woke up from my dream.

Please do the deciphering for me this time :D

of dad, JPA and puding jagung

Today's my off day, so I had more time sleeping. Slept at 4 a.m. because LSD: My Problem Child by Albert Hofmann was unputdownable (or, rather, uncloseable - there's no way I could get the physical copy in Malaysia. Later in NZ, perhaps). No lucid dreams, which means not a single lucid dream for me this week. Maybe it's due to the fact that I did not have adequate afternoon naps this week (most of my lucid dreams occur during my afternoon naps - yup, Stephen LaBerge is definitely right). However, I did have a particularly bizarre dream this morning.

My dream started with me getting a call from JPA, probably from Pn. Azizah Setapa, telling me that I have a couple of problems with my Borang Soal Keselamatan. I somehow had a copy of that particular thing, and noticed that there was this section, the one that required me to get a signature from a police officer (which is nonexistent in the real Borang Soal Keselamatan) that I left completely blank. She asked me to go to JPA's office to collect that form and complete it. Weird thing was, instead of going to Putrajaya, I was required to go to my grandmother's hometown, Sagil. Since I didn't have enough time to take a bus or anything, I asked my dad to send me there via motorcycle. FYI the distance from my home to Sagil is about 160 km (that's like very meh compared to my previous motorcycle journeys to and fro Kuala Pilah with my dad back when I was in Form 1 - about 300km one way). The dream route to Sagil pretty much resembled that to Kuala Pilah via Tampin, so yeah, freaky. When we reached Sagil, Pn. Azizah was waiting in my grandma's house, eating some puding jagung (probably my mom's) from a plastic container. She gave me my forms back, and out of nowhere came a policewoman offering to sign the forms. Later Pn. Azizah told me that her colleagues love that puding jagung and they wanted to buy more of them from my mom.

While on our way back to JB, I saw a tiny little kitten on the roadside, meowing at me. I picked him up, played with him and fed him.The kitten looked like my lost kitten Kuning a.k.a. Cunit, so I asked my dad whether I could bring him back with us to JB. Dad wanted to, but considering that we're travelling via motorcycle, it would be a bit difficult to do so. Disappointed, I left him there. It was already dark when we left Sagil. I was feeling a bit worried since we're about to to through a rather thick forest (resembling Bukit Putus) but we went on anyway. The sky was very cloudy, but I could see three faintly glowing spheres - two near the horizon, one directly above my head, which I assumed were moons. That was weird, I thought to myself (damn I missed an important dreamsign!!!), so I asked dad whether those other two 'moons' were really moons. Dad said those are stars, so I ignored them. When we reached 'Bukit Putus', there was an accident involving a lorry and two cars (later I realized that the accident was the exact one I witnessed yesterday). All of sudden, everything went black, and I found myself in a different scene.

I was in a rather large train cabin, weeping uncontrollably. Someone told me that one of my parents have died. I didn't remember which one, but judging from the previous scene, I assumed it was my dad. One senior from AUSIS handed me a religious book about death and dying in an attempt to calm me down, but I told her I already had that book. I wanted to go to the toilet, but didn't find any. Instead, I found a specialized cabin, inhabited by a freaky scientist with all sorts of chemicals and apparatus around him. Did not remember anything afterwards.

~~~~Deciphering~~~~

I believe that our dreams reflect our innermost desire. In this case, my innermost desire is to get myself a new kitten, and spend more time with dad. I think I am also too worried about my JPA forms/visa/passport/financial affidavit thingie, hence the Puan Azizah dream. And those three moons probably reflect my desire to witness any astronomical wonders before I fly, like, uh, a full moonrise :P

Parent died? Hmm, I'm not really sure. One thing for sure, I DEFINITELY did not wish for any of my parents to die.

handsome chef (not lucid)

I went to bed later than usual yesterday, around 2.30 a.m. Had one dose of DMT on iDoser to see if my new headphones could give me the "noetic lightning" effects stated in the descriptions. Nothing, nada. Moral: don't convince yourself that iDoser is placebo. Fell asleep after listening to around 60% of the dose, and that's when the fun starts. I was hoping for a lucid dream before going to bed, but since I was too tired from the journey back from KL, I did not have enough energy to attain lucidity. In my dream, I found myself sitting among a group of girls in a rather large wooden house. I believe that the place resembles Nur Bukit Unggul, where I joined Southern Gathering two weeks ago, but altered beyond recognition. A very handsome and princely chef emerged all of sudden, and the girls started clapping and squealing with delight. I felt lost, coz I seriously didn't know who the hell was that chef and what the hell was he doing in the middle of a girl gathering. He addressed the crowd with his charming manner, but I didn't really pay attention. Then I realized he was looking at my direction and saying something to me. I couldn't hear what he was saying, so I just acted blur. To my surprise, he approached me and whispered in my ear, asking "Do you love me?" I was completely stunned. The sensation of him whispering in my ear was damn real. Let's not forget the fact that he's immensely gorgeous :D

After that weird introduction, the girls started making several lines in front of him, apparently dividing themselves into different groups. I remembered from some time ago that I was in Group M, so I joined the M girls. The facilitator (?) distributed some drawings to the girls. I was told that the drawings were the girls' artwork in honour of the handsome chef, done during their previous meeting with him. I felt really left out because I realized that I was not there during their previous meeting, so I couldn't show off my newly-acquired psychedelic drawing skills.

I suddenly found myself lying on one corner of the house, iDosing to DMT. I took about 10 minutes of the dose before deciding that I need to stop. However, much to my horror, I could still hear the binaural beats in my ears even after taking off my headphones. I feared that my hearing had been damaged by listening to binaural beats too much. I paced back and forth, panicky, dug my ears with cotton buds and tapped my head several time to make the sound go away. Finally, after around 20 minutes, the sound faded altogether (later after waking up I realized that the binaural beats do indeed come from my laptop because I fell asleep with the dose on - I guess there were still around 15% of the dose left when I slipped into dreamland).

The dream transitioned to another scene, still at the distorted Nur Bukit Unggul. I explored the wooden house and found an abandoned bathroom which, oddly, was similar to the one at dad's mother's house. There were massive piles of clothes and papers in the bathroom. I was told that a mentally disturbed scientist actually lived in that bathroom. I tried to enter, but was taken aback when I saw a pair of hands sticking out from the piles of clothes. Then I saw another one. And another one. I ran away to meet my parents.

I saw that handsome chef again on my way out, but this time he looked a bit older than before. There was a woman with her. I assumed that he's married, so I walked away, feeling disappointed. Back to my room, my parents were already waiting to fetch me from the gathering. Then I realized I haven't packed my stacks of books, and started panicking. I heard mom calling my name; it was time to wake up and goreng kuih.