failed reality check gahhhhh

Last night I tried my turmeric tea-multivitamin-binaural beats regime again to see if they really work like my previous attempt. I found that turmeric tea greatly improved the vividness of my dreams, even better than my previous peanut butter + apple juice doses. Tastes awful in the beginning (like drinking a glass of Indonesian jamu laced with curry powder. Okay not that bad but still), but I have brought myself to like it. Turmeric chai tea is especially awesome.

Only manage to do a short MILD session as I was too tired and fell asleep too soon. In my first dream, I found myself sitting at the exact place where I'm sitting at this moment, browsing the net while drinking a glass of juice. This dream was kinda fragmented, and the next thing I knew I saw a guy standing outside from my bedroom window, trying to get into my room. I immediately recognized him as Fadzrel, my coursemate. For no apparent reasons, I felt extremely annoyed with him and started hurling things towards him. When he asked me why I did that, I simply said "Now that you've realized what a vile person I am, do you still want to marry me?" Turns out, I was actually engaged to him in the dream. WTF.

Had a fairly vivid dream afterwards, but due to my reluctance to keep a physical dream journal by my side on my bed, I had totally forgotten about it. After Subuh, managed to catch a short nap (which was nowhere near short, I tell you). This time, I was transported to my grandma's home, with very minimal alterations save for a big 29' TV in the living room. Two of my family members were also in the dream, but I didn't remember which one. We were watching news on RTM1 about the Borneo Rainforest Music Festival when Shulman was suddenly featured on TV. I thought "they now feature Shulman on RTM1? Gila ah!" and became very excited. When I went back to my 'temporary room' in the house, it suddenly occurred to me that the probability of having Shulman on prime time national TV was close to zero. I thought "is this a dream?" because I felt a bit wobbly and unstable. I held out my hands and examined them - they were normal, I had ten fingers instead of twelve, the were no signs of deformation save for a slightly crooked ring finger . I concluded that I was not dreaming. Still, the wobbly feelings were nagging me, so I tried another reality checking method - looking at fine prints on a calendar. Again, nothing weird happened - the words were legible (although they were not in English or Malay or any languages I know; they were in dream language but I didn't notice this peculiarity) and when I looked at them back after looking away, they remained unaltered. I tried to remember the details of what happened earlier that day - where was I before watching Shulman? I thought I was lying on my bed just now. Just to make sure, I did another reality check by jumping in the air. I fell down just as I would have in real life. It's not a dream, I told myself, and carried on with whatever I was doing in the dream. When I woke up I suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to curse my Subconscious.

I wonder how that could happen. FGS, I have wasted a valuable opportunity to become lucid. And now I have to wait until IDK how long before I get my next lucid dream. Geram la.