people can fly (and meet their crush in their dreams)

In my previous post, I mentioned about my latest attempt to increase my chances to attain lucidity. I didn't really put too much hope on it, and treated it as another one of those placebo stuffs alongside binaural beats, turmeric chai and apple juice and peanut butter (talk about peanut butter, I have completely abandoned that poor guy). Been telling myself I will have a lucid dream every day without other kinds of lucid aids, just relying on pure super-conscious power. I even had my wallpaper changed to this.

Just in case.

Oh, and I also tried my hands on WBTB. I attempted WBTB before, but with minimal results. I mean, I slept after Subuh almost every day, and each time I do so I tried every single induction methods I could remember (WILD - check. MILD - almost every single effin time. Reading Castaneda before dozing off - quite a number of times) but I only successfully became lucid once. After trying this particular super-conscious method, however, I managed to attain lucidity every time I do WBTB. It's been 3 days, and I became lucid 3 days in a row already.

Today I woke up at 8 a.m. Did not have any other obligations, so I decided to go back to sleep. Before I went back to sleep, I read a chapter from my beloved Lucid Dreaming book (something about utilizing lucid dreams to confront your fear/nightmares) and told myself I will have a lucid dream. My first dream was about me meeting my aunt and cousins. They had a bag full of vintage stuffs with them, the kind of stuffs you could find at OUSA Market Day. I also met my bro, and my youngest bro seemed to be much more matured than I could remember. Went travelling with my cousins, and was transported back to my childhood hometown. There's a large wall made up of honeycomb-like rocks, and we decided to climb it to get to the other side. My cousin managed to do so but I didn't.

I was later brought to a new dream scene where I found myself in a Japanese train station. I chatted with the train operator, who seemed to be the most important person in the station. There was a train going to depart in a few minutes, and the train operator was in charge of opening a gate to allow the train to exit the station, but for some reason he did not feel like doing so and wanted to pass the job to his colleague. The train eventually departed and everyone cheered. After a few minutes, he realized that he did not have much time to run to the control room and open the gate, which caused everyone to panic. As he was dashing to the control room, the train stopped abruptly. He felt relieved, and asked his colleague to take over his job. His colleague said that opening the gate requires his signature, so he went to the control room feeling a bit grumpy. At this point I realized that I assumed the role of the train operator. While we were busy handling stuffs, a high speed train came towards us in full speed. I thought "this couldn't be real, I don't want to die right now", did RC and saw crooked fingers, became lucid. The train stopped before colliding with the station. I told everybody in the station that I was lucid, but they didn't seem to understand what I was talking about. After a while someone applauded me, followed by the rest of the crowd. There was a sudden crash outside, and I was told that a woman had thrown herself down on the train track when a high speed train was departing from the station. There was a sudden shock in my awareness, and I woke up.

Did not open my eyes at all, did not move even a bit, attempted DEILD. It took me a while to transit into dreamland, but when I finally did I found myself back into the same dream, and immediately became lucid. I told a DC I wanted to fly and make myself levitate because I haven't done that in my dream for quite some time, and he introduced me to Dom Cobb (yep, Dom of Inception). I jumped a few times to make myself levitate, but each time I did so I fell back to the ground slowly. I complained about this to Dom, and he gave me tips on how to fly in my lucid dream (I have forgotten the exact tips he gave me). I did manage to levitate higher and fly towards a tower at full speed although I only managed to fly with my back facing downwards. When I tried to turn my body in order to fly 'normally', I fell back to the ground.

I then tried to find someone interesting to have a make out session with (lol I'm not that perverted, but yeah I was lucid so why not). Grabbed a 40-something guy and tried to change his appearance into someone resembling Raphael, but my attempt was not successful. The DC, however, were interested in me so we went to a secluded place, away from other people (lol that sounds fishy). The dream scene kep threatening to disintegrate, so I screamed 'stabilize!' a few times. Surprisingly, my DC partner seemed tu understand why I did so. Our endeavor was cut short, unfortunately, by a guy who claimed that the whole place was his and no one were allowed to have any make out sessions whatsoever within his area. My DC partner thought that the guy was my boyfriend, and went away. The guy resembled Pierce Brosnan by the way.

I went away to avoid further trouble. Went past a place similar to the surau at Terminal 1. I immediately thought of finding Adrien, and searched for him among several DCs sitting along my path. I saw a guy who dressed exactly like him, complete with that skinny jeans and his brown shoulder bag, but his face didn't resemble my Adrien at all. There was a long-haired guy sitting by himself, listening to music while being oblivious to the surroundings, but he didn't have a fair complexion like my Adrien. 'Sides, he looked very Asian (Adrien somehow seemed to have Korean blood or something, but he didn't look strikingly Asian) and looked more like Flame (fellow Toroan) or Siong (guy in my Chem lab) rather than my Adrien. I decided to call out his name as an experiment. When I called out 'Adrien', that long-haired guy looked at my direction. I immediately realized that I did not call out Adrien's real name, so I corrected myself "er, sorry, I mean _____" This time, that long-haired guy responded to my call. Just to make sure, I asked him "are you _____?" and he said yes. I felt slightly disappointed because he didn't really look like my Adrien, save for that long brown hair, but I still felt happy to find him. I held his hand and kissed it, and noticed that his skin was indeed fair. We had a small chat and he told me that he lives in New Plymouth. I told him that I am a lucid dreamer and he was currently in my dream, hoping that somehow when he wake up he could remember his dream and find me later, but as soon as I did that I felt that sudden shock again, indicating that my dream would end soon. My dream disintegrated before I even had the chance to do anything to stabilize it. I reluctantly let go of his hand and woke up.

I discovered two things from today's dream. First, I have found my dream guide, and he assumed the form of Dom Cobb. Second, you don't really need a shitload of lucid aids to attain lucidity, just tell yourself you can have lucid dreams every night, and go to sleep. Let your super-conscious do the rest. I wish I could do the same thing when it comes to studying, tsk.

Repeat after me: I will become lucid tonight, I am a lucid dreamer.

Happy lucid dreaming!

p/s: I have reached my latest goal: have 10 lucid dreams in a month! Time to make a new goal :D

another drug-related dream

Really, I don't need to do drugs in real life, my Subconscious could make me do them in my dreams. Let's just hope I won't start frequenting Cosmic Corner and get me some Salvia later. Today I decided to take a late afternoon nap (late afternoon means just that) because there's nothing interesting on fb and I couldn't be bothered to study Chemistry. Just finished watching two parts of a documentary on how to double your brain performance and decided to utilize this method to increase my chances to get lucid dreams (refer to this thread on DV), so before sleeping I told myself that I will have a lucid dream today. And I did!

Well, it's not like my usual 20-minute long lucid dream with awesome controls and stuffs, but I did realize that I was dreaming so yeah, still a valid lucid dream. My dream was similar to the one I had a few weeks back (it's in the drafts list. maybe later), one which started as a false awakening. I woke up but didn't open my eyes; I suddenly gained the ability to see behind my closed eyelids. Everything seemed unstable and wobbly, so I concluded that I must be dreaming. Tried a new reality checking method today - instead of looking at my hands, I did the popular nose-pinching reality check. It took me a while to realize that I could breathe through my pinched nose though. What made me disappointed was the fact that I couldn't do much in this dream; I wanted to get up and do awesome things, but I was too afraid to do so thinking that any movement I did in the dream would happen in real life, causing me to wake up. I kept having this urge to open my eyes because my closed eyelids vision was impaired - everything was very dark and blurry - but refrained myself from doing so in order to prolong the dream. I did manage to take a few steps away from my bed before I woke up when my phone alarm went off.

I realized that this kind of dream usually occur during my afternoon nap. Hypothesis? Afternoon nap is too short for me to reach a decent REM phase.

After waking up from the dream, I went back to sleep. Had another dream but did not become lucid because I couldn't be bothered to do DEILD. This time, I found myself in the middle of a night market, finding food for my dinner. I ended up buying char kuay teow with lots of mussels, which tasted heavenly. After dinner, I followed a DC to a hidden shop, where he introduced me to a variety of legal highs. I initially refused to take them, but after being coaxed by the salesgirl, I decided to try a legal hallucinogen (I'm not sure what it was made up of, but it's a packet of white powder, very much resembling cocaine. Definitely not Salvia). At that point I really felt bad for giving in to my desires to experiment on drugs, but I told myself that it was not even illegal so there's nothing wrong with that. I snorted the white powder with my partner and another random DC. I was expecting a burning sensation inside my nasal cavity, but nothing really happened. After snorting them clean, i suddenly felt panicky. What if I have to undergo a drug test after this? I asked the salesgirl if the substance I took could be detected by urinalysis, and she said no. After several minutes I still did not feel anything from the substance, so I asked the salesgirl how long should I wait. She told me that I should be able to feel something by 7.50 pm (it was 7.30 pm) and the effects will last until 9.35 pm. I felt relieved; at least it's not as long-lasting as LSD. I then went back to my house accompanied by my partner.

There was a cool party happening downstairs, and my partner decided to join it. I did not follow him coz I felt the noises and visuals would be too much for my first drug experience, so I went upstairs and waited for the hallucinations to take place. As soon as I walked into my house, I was brought back to my old childhood home, with dad and his kittens waiting for me. Everything in the house resembled my old house, complete with the little wall clock I used to repair when I was little, Mom's very old but faithful fridge, the mattresses where I used to sleep on. I looked at my watch; it was 7.35 pm. Frickin hallucinations, I told myself. After playing with the kittens for a while, I woke up for good. And I felt like crying, coz I miss my old house and my dad and my kittens that much.

Tonight, I will have another lucid dream. And I will return to my childhood hometown. And, er, take some more drugs in the process. Hahaha.

physical dream journal (also: finally, LSD!)

Following the advice from Reece Jones, I have bought myself a big book to be used as my physical dream journal. Why would I need a physical dream journal when I already have an online dream journal? Well ah, you can't really write your dreams straight into your online DJ the instant you wake up, and by the time you actually get to write them down, half of the details would have already lost. You might lose the opportunity to describe the look of that gorgeous guy you met in your dream, or the exact name your Subconscious told you when you ask her what's your crush's real name. Worse, you might even forget a whole chunk of dream, and proceeded to tell people "I don't dream at all last night" (you do dream! You simply can't remember it!). Having a physical dream journal by your bed enables you to write the details of your dream the moment you awake from that epic dream, which could help a lot in your attempt to have a lucid dream. 'Sides, you can write a lot more in your book, including details that are deemed 'too saucy' to be read by the public (don't look at me like that - we all have sexual dreams once in a while, tipu ko kata tak pernah). I'm in the process of decorating the cover with psychedelic art, but I still don't have any idea on what to put on it. One thing for sure I'm going to put the lovely Shpongle mask as the centrepiece.

Shpongle mask here has 3 colours coz my printer runs out of blue ink. But I think it adds a nice touch lol

Anyhoo, today is Bicycle Day! In honour of the great Dr. Albert Hofmann, I managed to obtain two LSD blotters and took them with a member of Otago NORML who's also into all kinds of psychedelic stuffs. No of course I'm bluffing. No one in the uni was even remotely aware of the fact that today marks the 68th anniversary of the discovery of the hallucinogenic properties of LSD. But enough of that, I had two lucid dreams today, which was something cool to start off the day. :D

Had a dream involving all of my housemates, with another male DC joining us. Hannan and Amal played with a very big tarantula. I was afraid at first, but they told me that the tarantula was actually a very gentle and playful creature like a cat, and began petting it. To my surprise, the tarantula actually purred and acted like a cat! It even resembled a big fat cat with eight eyes.

We all went to a cafe for our afternoon tea. The cafe has a clean minimalistic decor, with most of the stuffs there were either white or silver. The male DC approached me from behind. He whispered something to me right on my ear, telling me about how JPA decided to give him extra allowances to help ease the burden of his diabetic mother. He also told me that the reason why he got the 'extra' scholarship (he was not a JPA scholar) was because JPA officers were impressed with his culinary skills. The sensation of his warm breath against my ear were very realistic. I began to wonder if he did that on purpose to show that he had a feeling on me.

Halfway through our afternoon tea, I realized that Amal and Hannan were not wearing their hijab. I checked mine only to realize that I too did not wear my hijab. I began to panic, wandering how could it be possible since I left my house wearing my hijab. I wanted to go back home and cover my head but I have less than 30 minutes to do so as I was told that there's an event going on afterwards. At the same time, Shawn, my ex-schoolmate appeared in my dream. She asked me questions which I failed to recall, and I answered them. Hannan looked at us with a questioning look, so I introduced Shawn to her. Shawn told me that they have met at INTEC, but Hannan didn't seem to remember (they've never met each other in real life). That's when I realized that my hijab was back on my head. I thought aloud "how is this possible? Kejap ada kejap takda macam biskut!" I began to think that it was a dream, so I did reality check and saw that I have lost two of my fingers. Lucid!

The dream was very wobbly and unstable, so I walked around and shouted 'stabilize!' repeatedly. When I saw Linda and Alia I told them that I was dreaming, and they seemed happy for me. I continued my walk around the cafe, my dream still wobbly, while uttering 'stabilize!' on top of my voice. Little did I realize that I actually said 'sterilize!' instead of 'stabilize!'. WTF! The dreamscape did stabilize for a brief moment though, before disintegrating completely. I woke up, but did not make much movement. In the process of recalling my dream, I fell asleep again. That's practically DEILD yawww.

I found myself with Hannan at the same place as in my previous dream. I suddenly felt like doing RC, so I did just that. Like before, I had my ring and middle finger cut off and became lucid again. I initially found it difficult to believe that I was still dreaming because I thought I had woken up and went there with Hannan in real life. Nevertheless, I could feel that distinctive lucidity sensation so I began exploring the dream world.

My first thought was Adrien. I want to find him and ask him his name, so I walked around and called him out. Now this part was very freaky. I called out 'Adrien' several times, and each time I did so a DC resembling him would pop out all of sudden. They all wear the same yellow jacket he wore to class yesterday, but I knew they were not the real Adrien because they lack one or several features that describe him. For example, there was this DC who had long brown hair, fair complexion and lanky body, but he also had a mustache. Another DC responded to my call, but he did not have a long hair like my Adrien. Frustrated, I tried asking a random DC for help like I did when trying to find Raphael. The DC, a Kiwi, told me to turn left and go straight. I thanked him for his kindness, and he told me not to worry. Kiwis are still courteous even in dreams. He asked me my name, but he could not comprehend me when I said 'Fatimah', so I told him he could call me 'Tim'. With that, I went away.

I told myself that if I keep on looking for him, I would waste my entire lucid dreaming duration, so I decided to do something else. Tried to levitate, but failed to make myself stay afloat mid-air after a jump. When I tried to walk through walls, I nearly bumped my head on the hard concrete. Struggling to remember my dream task list, I then decided to take some LSD. It's Bicycle Day anyway, so why not. Realizing that I had none, I tried to summon it by reaching into my pocket. I managed to produce two tabs of pills. Tried the first pill, but after examining the packaging of the second pill, I was convinced that the second pill was Delysid, so I spat the first pill out and swallowed the second.

I was looking for some water to wash down the pill when I discovered that the place was actually an airport (resembling Dunedin International Airport). I thought it would be fun to board a plane for free, so I went to the departure hall. Saw my housemates and that male DC. I thought of having a make out session or something with someone gorgeous, but did not find anyone interesting. That male DC, however, began to take the form of someone I kinda like. That will do, I thought, and began kissing him. I woke up, and received an SMS from Linda telling me that Adrien was in her lab.

To make things better, I have discovered Adrien's real name. His name is _____, but I shall continue addressing him as Adrien in this journal because, uh, he doesn't look like a _____ anyway so haha!

By the way, the psychedelic effect of the Delysid pill did not take place. Maybe later.

failed reality check gahhhhh

Last night I tried my turmeric tea-multivitamin-binaural beats regime again to see if they really work like my previous attempt. I found that turmeric tea greatly improved the vividness of my dreams, even better than my previous peanut butter + apple juice doses. Tastes awful in the beginning (like drinking a glass of Indonesian jamu laced with curry powder. Okay not that bad but still), but I have brought myself to like it. Turmeric chai tea is especially awesome.

Only manage to do a short MILD session as I was too tired and fell asleep too soon. In my first dream, I found myself sitting at the exact place where I'm sitting at this moment, browsing the net while drinking a glass of juice. This dream was kinda fragmented, and the next thing I knew I saw a guy standing outside from my bedroom window, trying to get into my room. I immediately recognized him as Fadzrel, my coursemate. For no apparent reasons, I felt extremely annoyed with him and started hurling things towards him. When he asked me why I did that, I simply said "Now that you've realized what a vile person I am, do you still want to marry me?" Turns out, I was actually engaged to him in the dream. WTF.

Had a fairly vivid dream afterwards, but due to my reluctance to keep a physical dream journal by my side on my bed, I had totally forgotten about it. After Subuh, managed to catch a short nap (which was nowhere near short, I tell you). This time, I was transported to my grandma's home, with very minimal alterations save for a big 29' TV in the living room. Two of my family members were also in the dream, but I didn't remember which one. We were watching news on RTM1 about the Borneo Rainforest Music Festival when Shulman was suddenly featured on TV. I thought "they now feature Shulman on RTM1? Gila ah!" and became very excited. When I went back to my 'temporary room' in the house, it suddenly occurred to me that the probability of having Shulman on prime time national TV was close to zero. I thought "is this a dream?" because I felt a bit wobbly and unstable. I held out my hands and examined them - they were normal, I had ten fingers instead of twelve, the were no signs of deformation save for a slightly crooked ring finger . I concluded that I was not dreaming. Still, the wobbly feelings were nagging me, so I tried another reality checking method - looking at fine prints on a calendar. Again, nothing weird happened - the words were legible (although they were not in English or Malay or any languages I know; they were in dream language but I didn't notice this peculiarity) and when I looked at them back after looking away, they remained unaltered. I tried to remember the details of what happened earlier that day - where was I before watching Shulman? I thought I was lying on my bed just now. Just to make sure, I did another reality check by jumping in the air. I fell down just as I would have in real life. It's not a dream, I told myself, and carried on with whatever I was doing in the dream. When I woke up I suddenly felt this overwhelming urge to curse my Subconscious.

I wonder how that could happen. FGS, I have wasted a valuable opportunity to become lucid. And now I have to wait until IDK how long before I get my next lucid dream. Geram la.

fear and loathing in dreamland

Last night, just for the hell of it, I drank turmeric chai tea (sweetened chai + 1/4 teaspoon turmeric powder), apple juice, listened to binaural beats, took a B6 + choline multivitamin and did MILD. And I also read Critic. I'm not that desperate to attain lucidity, I just felt like doing so because I have Physics test tonight. Not that they could help or anything, but oh well. I did listen to the Brain+ i-Doser dose though.

I must say turmeric tea has now officially become my drug of choice. Turns out I did get a lucid dream last night, albeit a short and disappointing one, i.e. with minimal control. I had a false awakening, and found myself in my unaltered room. I somehow managed to do reality check, and realized that I was dreaming after seeing my crooked hands. Freaky thing was, I was still lying on my bed in the dream with every single thing in my bedroom intact, no significant alteration whatsoever. I was afraid that the dream would disintegrate, so I uttered the stabilizer mantra several times as loud as I could. It did stabilize, assuming the quality of waking life. What really pissed me off was that I remained 'paralyzed' throughout the entire period of the lucid dream! I tried to get up, but my body remained rigid. At this point, I suspected that I had already woken up and what I was really experiencing at the moment was a sleep paralysis, so I went to do another reality check. Much to my horror, I could feel the sensation of lifting up my hands but nothing really appeared in front of my eyes! I clasped my hands together and rubbed them - the sensation was there, but I could not find my hands. The same thing happened when I tried to lift my feet. I told myself to overcome it - it was, after all, a lucid dream - and visualized myself being teleported to another dream scene. After several attempts, nothing happened. I saw my 'ARE YOU DREAMING?' sign in front of me, and noticed that the small text beneath the words were absent (but I could still read the 'ARE YOU DREAMING' part albeit a bit wobbly coz I'm myopic), indicating that it was indeed a lucid dream. It was frustrating - I was having my first lucid dream after a week and a half, yet I did not have control over it. Was just about to meet Dream Adrien again, sheesh. After spending a few more minutes limbless in the dream, it disintegrated and I soon found myself back into waking life. Did reality check, convinced that i was awake, and slept back. Attempted DEILD but I moved too much already makanya tak menjadi.

After Subuh, I tried doing WBTB. Did not become lucid, but I had the most WTF dream ever afterwards. I was in my room (altered this time), and my senior (the one from this dream) came in to visit me. I somehow assumed the role of a medical assistant or something, and the senior was my supervisor. He tried to comment on the conditions of my room, saying that as a medical staff he expected my room to have a higher degree of organisation. He didn't say that in a criticizing manner; he was very friendly and gentle. I gave him some excuses, and he seemed to be pleased. We went out together afterwards, riding a revolving teacup (lol!) with Dream Linda and Alia. We cruised along George Street, drank some tea and ate some snacks. Somehow, I found myself munching a large portion of KFC drumstick, which emerged out of nowhere. Halfway through devouring the chicken I realized that KFC in New Zealand serves non-halal chicken, so I spat them out and felt extremely guilty.

We later arrived in front of Cosmic Corner (man, Cosmic Corner again?? I really need to go there tomorrow). This time, I finally had enough audacity to get in. I saw numerous Goa trance/psybient CDs displayed along the walls, which made me really excited (the real Cosmic Corner do not sell CDs. Kalau ada pun bukan Goa weh). I heard faint chanting sounds which, I later recognized, came from Shpongle's Ineffable Mysteries track from the back room, so I went there to see if that was my lucky day and I get to meet Simon. No Simon, but there were a bunch of mafia-type people occupying the room. At one point they even started an orgy while snorting cocaine. I was thinking of asking for a tab of acid or two, but thought better of it and went away. This was when I realized that Dream Linda actually followed me into the shop. Mind you, in waking life that would be impossible.

As I make my way out of the shop, Dream Linda asked me to get her some weed. I thought "you kidding me??? Linda wants to smoke weed???", but seeing how serious she was (she even bought a mini bong for that purpose!), I went back to the shop and bought two stalks of weed, one for each of us. Yep, in my dream, weed assumed the form of celery. I did not want to smoke them at that exact moment since I was never a fan of marijuana, so I wear the stalk as a necklace. Dream Linda told me to keep it discreet and hide the weed necklace under my clothes. She later proceeded to munch her weed stalk like celery.

We were relaxing on a bench (very similar to the one in front of my childhood home) when a white van suddenly stopped in front of us. The driver threw something at me, which I later realized was a big sheet of LSD. I estimated that there were about 64 smaller tabs altogether. Five people came out of the van, and sat with us on the bench. They introduced themselves as the members of Malaysian legendary rock band Search. No seriously, they really did look like Search during their heydays. Amy Search invited us to take a tab of their special acid, but I told him that Linda was already under the influence of weed (wasn't that obvious, though). I was really tempted to take just a teeny little tab, but my conscience told me that I shouldn't do acid, it's forbidden in my religion. That was when Dream Linda took four tabs and put all of them into her mouth. I was like "WTF Linda you took weed already!" but it was too late - the psychedelic effect has already kicked in. She seemed shocked initially, then held her hands up in the air, her expressions depicting pure bliss beneath chaos. I tried to ease her trip by stroking her hair gently and telling her that there's nothing to be afraid of - the world is a very beautiful place. She seemed to relax a bit, and I let her lay down on my lap. So this is how people trip, I thought to myself. I woke up shortly after.

Still no LSD for me, it seems. Time for another round of turmeric tea tonight.

Counting down to Bicycle Day!

should've become lucid but i didn't

I didn't have any lucid dreams last week, which was frustrating. I shall blame the horrifying CELS test for that. Last night I somehow remembered to drink a full glass of apple juice before going to bed (I've abandoned my apple juice for one week. Poor guy), browsed through the DreamViews forum and read Critic (the uni's awesome student magazine) on the topics of drugs. So naturally, my dreams last night were highly freaky - which is good, because I love my dreams to be as freaky as possible. Too bad I didn't become lucid last night. Sigh.

First dream was about me attending a rather psychedelic flea market-like event, with people selling tapestries, records, accessories and stuffs. I remember there was a brief mention of Shpongle in this dream, with a fragment of a Shpongle track played in the background, but I didn't remember much.

Next dream, I had a nasty mother-in-law (I didn't get to discover to whom I was married, though :P). I was treated badly and mentally bullied by her, so I began planning an escape route. One of my plans involved the usage of psychological methods (which I devised in real life, should I really end up getting a nasty mother-in-law someday), but apparently that particular mother-in-law was too clever to be tricked, so my plan didn't work. I was even accused of being mentally unsound by her and her entourage of noisy makciks. I challenged her to conduct tests on me and send me to a mental hospital to determine whether or not I wasn really insane. Before I was sent away, I managed to utter 'Plan B didn't work' to one of the DCs nearby, which confirmed her suspicions that I was plotting against her. I wanted to fight back, but my alarm went off exactly at this moment.

Third dream was another dentistry-related dream. Maybe it was triggered by the nitrous oxide article I read on Critic last night. I went to a very weird dental hospital for my regular checkup. Before my treatment, I was required to change into a hospital gown, so the nurse showed me the way to the changing room. Turns out there were several other people in the changing room, most of them my seniors here, who were extremely delighted to see me there and invited me for a small party at their house. There were about 15 of them in the changing room, buth male and female. I did not remember anything afterwards.

My fourth dream was the most epic. I somehow found myself wandering aimlessly along a heavily altered version of George Street. There were several shops selling psychedelic attires and paraphernalia along the street, but my main focus was on the dream version of Cosmic Corner at the end of the street. I guess I was really determined to look for LSD, effectively ignoring the awesome psychedelic stuffs I saw on my way to Cosmic Corner. Unfortunately, when I reached there I couldn't bring myself to enter the shop, probably because I was too worried that doing so might tarnish my good girl image forever (exactly what I was feeling every time I pass the shop in real life. That's why I've never been to Cosmic Corner up until now, even though they do sell some cool psy t-shirts alongside the usual Salvia and legal weed). As I walk further I noticed that the shops were arranged in alphabetical order. I didn't perceive this as something weird; I simply thought it's one of the many attractions of George Street. I even walked past ten or so shops with the word 'dream' or 'dreaming' in their names. I believe one of them even had the sign 'Are you dreaming?', but God knows why I DIDNT BECOME LUCID!

Once again, after walking past Cosmic Corner for the second time, I still didn't have the nerve to get in, so I decided to get into one of the many psychedelic shops there to see if they also have LSD in stock. No acid, but they do have some lovely multicoloured baju kurung with matching shawls. I was just about to buy one of those baju kurung when I saw a long-haired androgynous guy walking past the shop. It took me a while before I realized that it was Adrien. Adrien FTW WTF! Why was he here? He should be in class. 'Sides, it's not like I'm interested in him anymore (turns out he's one of those pretty boys who enjoy the constant attention from girls - so not my type). I followed him anyway, because I thought maybe I could make him go to Cosmic Corner with me. Lol, I was that determined to get myself a tab of acid. He stopped by a small restaurant selling Malay kampung cuisine (you kidding me???) and had his lunch there. Being the accomplished stalker that I am, I also decided to have my lunch there - and possibly get to know his name or something. The shopkeeper makcik gave me a plate of rice with asam pedas fish, gulai lemak pisang, ayam masak lemak cili api, sambal belacan, various ulams and other delectable Malay dishes (gosh tau la tengah puasa, mimpi makan tak boleh blah doh). I managed to get a seat beside him, and even braved myself to talk to him. I told him that we were in the same lecture for Physics, CELS and HUBS, but he told me that it wasn't possible because he was in the morning stream, which made me appear as if I purposely changed streams to be with him (I did, in real life. But anyways). I guess Dream Adrien has the capability to read my mind; I was just about to ask for his real name when he told me that his name was K_____ (I didn't remember, but the name was very weird and ethnic-sounding. I even thought it was Bosnian). At this point he somehow morphed into a fat boy. Gone was my gorgeous, lanky, skinny jeans-wearing Adrien. Frustrated, I finished up my food and went to wash the dishes. That was when I realized that I wasn't talking to Adrien from the start; that was his brother, and the real Adrien was actually watching me from a corner. I woke up shortly after.

Damn Adrien. I'm trying to get you out of my mind, and that's when you decided to appear in my dream.

Also, damn dreamsigns.

'Adrien' and existentialism

It's Sunday, and daylight saving ends today. So I had one extra hour of sleep, which was damn awesome. Woke up very early today because I 'accidentally' slept at 10.30 pm last night, managed to watch the most magnificent sunrise in my life (a wonderful gradient of blue, purple, pink and orange). How lovely. What a lovely day.

It was still early, and I didn't know what to do, so I decided to catch another hour of sleep because I love sleeping on a Sunday morning like that. Also, I was planning to get a lucid dream tonight (lately most of my lucid dreams occur on Sunday nights), so might as well start early no? Did a short MILD session ('The next time I dream I will realize that I am dreaming'), thought briefly about Raphael/Adrien, and before I knew it, I drifted to sleep.

Didn't remember my first dream.

I met my mother in my second dream. Had a very tiny and frail little kitten in my hands. The kitten sometimes morphed into an equally tiny and frail little baby, but I didn't notice anything weird about this. We were on top of a slide at a playground, and my mom was waiting for us at the bottom. I held the kitten gingerly in my jacket to protect her from any impending disaster as we slid down the slide. It was too late when I noticed that the slide was cut in the middle. Think I've had a similar dream before involving an escalator.

Third dream: I immediately found myself at a train station with my friends. I think we went to a shopping complex before arriving at the station, but I simply couldn't remember the details. My friends said that they were going to Sunway Pyramid to watch cats in action (lol I dunno how), so they boarded the train to Subang Jaya. I realized that I didn't have any train ticket with me, so I told them to wait for me while I rush to buy my ticket. Before I even managed to reach the counter, the train departed, leaving me alone. I thought the hell with that, I could go there on my own, and proceeded to the ticket counter. I didn't realize that I accidentally boarded the train at the oppposite platform. Within seconds, the other train departed with me boarding it without a valid ticket. What's with this whole boarding-train-without-ticket dreams lately??? I somehow noticed that I was wearing my handmade lolita JSK without a blouse, and my bra straps were visible at my back. This was too humiliating, I thought, and wished for it to be merely a dream. Just for the hell of it, I did a reality check and saw 12 fingers. Lucid! The dream was very unstable, unfortunately, and I could feel the whole train rocking violently as if I was in the middle of an earthquake. My attempt to stabilize the dream by uttering the stabilizer mantra only made matters worse. I woke up feeling the vibration from my phone alarm. No wonder I got an earthquake dream, sheesh.

It was 7.45 a.m, and I couldn't be bothered to wake up for good, so I went back to sleep. Received an invitation from a fellow Otago student asking me to come to her house and play some music games with her. I didn't know how she found out about my love towards music-based games, but I thought that's cool, I get to make new friends and all. Turns out the girl was one of my friends from high school. The game resembled O2Jam, but far more complex. I struggled with it at first, but once I had gotten grip on the whole concept, the game became so addictive I didn't realize that the sun was setting and it was time to go home. All of sudden, I saw a flash of light coming out of the window. We looked outside and saw a bright trail of light going down from the sky, sort of like the one you see in the depictions of alien abductions, but instead of something going up, I saw something going down.

My first thought was 'Ya Allah, the end of the world is near! Nabi Isa a.s. is coming!', but as soon as I saw the person descending from the trail of light (it was a giant little kid in a Waldo-like costume), I realized that there's something weird about that. Like my first dream, I didn't want it to be real, so I hoped for it to be a dream and did RC. It took me a while before I came to the correct conclusion because the whole scene was very lifelike and I only saw one extra finger on my left hand (none on my right). However, I later found a piece of paper with fine prints on it and noticed that the letters were extremely difficult to decipher, so I concluded that I was dreaming for real. Yeah, second lucid dream today! I uttered the stabilizing mantra several times, and the dream slowly became more stabilized.There were several DCs with me at that time, and by the time I become lucid, everyone morphed into my current flatmates and Raro flatters. The house also assumed the form of a familiar Toroa flat, but with altered room placement. Dream Linda was also there, and for some unknown reasons I felt the urge to ask her an existentialism question (well, that's my Subconscious over there assuming the form of Linda so why not?) - who I really am. She told me she didn't know, but it's up to me to choose what I really am. When I told her she should know because she's my subconscious, she exchanged confused glances with another DC and told me once again that it's my choice. Frustrated, I asked her if she knew Adrien's real name. She said that she didn't have the answer to that, but she could give me his phone number if I want to ask him directly. I thought 'wtf I couldn't even talk to him in real life when I have the opportunity to do so', but asked for his number anyway. I remember the number given was something like '01 477 5117' and a couple of random letters, but this may not work in real life okay guys so don't even bother to try :P Dream Linda told me to forget about it because my dream was going to end soon, but I told her I had a method to avoid premature dream ending and ignored her warnings. I went to the flat phone to call him, and noticed that instead of numbers, the buttons on the phone consist of random arrangement of letters. When I say random, I mean really random - not QWERTY, letters appearing twice, missing letters, no numbers. How the hell am I suppose to call him? Somehow I managed to transcript the numbers given by the DCs into letters, and typed frantically. Failed. I asked the help of a DC, and while she was repairing the phone, I managed to have a small chat with another DC who looked exactly like Michelle. Again, I asked her who I really am, and told her I had some sort of existentialism crisis going on within me. She told me she didn't even know me that much because she was new here and had just met me here in Toroa. With my Subconscious trolling me to this point, it definitely made me rethink whether or not I was really dreaming. Fortunately, another piece of paper with unintelligible words printed (I believe it was supposed to read 'Amirah Awang was here' - Amirah was my friend from high school) confirmed the fact that I was dreaming. I also noticed that I did not have any reflection when I looked into a mirror (peh, macam vampire la pulak). I tried calling Adrien for the second time. Part of me felt like cutting the nonsense short and go out to find him - or better still, summon him at that very spot, but I somehow didn't trust my ability to do so - damn lack of confidence. After several rings, someone answered my call. It was a girl. Damn.

"Hello, may I speak to Adrien?" I realized that it probably wouldn't work because, heck, his name was not even Adrien. The girl on the phone seemed to have difficulties understanding my words, so I repeated my question several times. The other DCs told me to specify where I'm calling from, which made things worse because I couldn't pronounce the R in Toroa properly, leading to more confusions. She eventually told me there was no people named Adrien at her house, and hung up. That was when I made up my mind to go out and find him. However, I didn't manage to do so because I felt a sudden shock in my awareness which made the dream disintegrate rapidly. I screamed the stabilizer mantra as loud as I could, but nothing happened. The line between dream and wakefulness seem to be blurred, and soon enough, I was no longer dreaming. I tried to keep my body very still and attempted DEILD, but nothing happened so I woke up for good, turned on my laptop and wrote this.

Dream Linda was right. I shouldn't waste my time calling him and stuffs. I could summon things and people in my lucid dream - I've done that before and it worked perfectly. Haish, maybe next time.

Till then, I couldn't wait for tomorrow to come :D

p/s: could Dream Linda possibly be my dream guide? She appeared in my lucid dream several time already.

p/p/s: When in doubt, reality check.